Ron DeSantis’ Mojo Dojo Casa College in Sarasota
Once upon a time, in the magical town of Sarasota, right by the Beach, there was a small public honors college for Barbies and Kens called the New College of Florida.
New College was like a Dream House, or at least a haven, for women, the LGBT community, and all free thinkers looking for a self-directed learning community at an affordable price.
Even if every day was not The Best Day Ever, Barbies and Kens thrived here.
They won Fulbright Fellowships. They went to prestigious PhD programs. They developed new career pathways that let them imagine themselves as anything they wanted to be.
It was a small, quirky school. A strange, beautiful world of its own.
But then, one day, on January 6, 2023, Gov. Ron DeSantis appointed a new slate of appointees to the Board of Trustees. The casting seemed straight from the Mattel corporate boardroom.
The new trustees’ mission? Tear down the Barbies’ Dream House. According to a conservative activist trustee, the Dream House was too “feminized.” He said they needed a restoration of Ken authority.
They cleaned house in terms of faculty and staff appointments. They wanted people who were “mission-aligned” to the new Ken order.
They fired New College President Barbie.
They denied tenure to Professor Barbies.
They terminated Librarian Barbies and lots of College Staff Barbies.
Then, the Trustees instructed new interim president Richard Corcoran to build a Mojo Dojo Casa College for the Kens.
They dismantled diversity programs, took down Barbie’s murals.
They banned gender studies, added sports psychology.
They adopted a new mascot, the Mighty Banyans.
They fielded new sports teams in baseball, basketball, and soccer.
They admitted lots and lots of new Kens.
So many, in fact, that Stereotypical Barbies had to leave the Dream House for a Hotel.
Corcoran got to work, putting new Kens in charge.
Did it matter if they had precisely the right set of expertise? Nope, hire just Kens.
The new Dean of Student Affairs? A former Tallahassee lobbyist.
The new Head of Admissions? An intellectual property attorney.
In the Real World, The Barbie Movie ™ is a billion-dollar blockbuster, but in the gauzy Dream World of Florida, the Kens, led by Gov. Ron DeSantis, are taking their last stand on the beaches of Sarasota.
We’re all watching to see how it turns out, but I feel like we’ve seen this movie before.
